What’s the question?

“falling up” on you tube.

As a man conditioned by his life and the ugly culture I grew up in, I could sense, somewhere deep inside that we are all connected, that connectivity idea took me all over this abundant planet, in search of what was born within me and soon lost by the conditioning I was told to believe. I am only now in a very small way becoming aware that what I was searching for was an answer and that answer is love.

Action versus reaction still sometimes catches me out. I often try and “zoom out” and re-focus my attention to get perspective. I have found it helps me, yet I am never truly outside of myself. I have made many mistakes and some lead to greater knowledge of myself, some lead to me unintentionally hurting myself and others, I am truly sorry for hurting anyone with my words, actions and deeds. I have always tried to be an “open book” but that is a poor metaphor because that open book is still being written. I know I will make mistakes, for I will always have a sense of doubt and I will give everyone the benefit of that doubt.

I am trying to live a peaceful and simple life and I am starting to really understand my mode of existence. Trying as best I can to expand upon the ideas that make me who I am.

Theory and practice are very relevant to my progress. I am trying to avoid contradictions within and without myself here. The example of Christian and as far as I can tell, all religious theory and practice is a good example of that. I am trying to practice what I preach.

We as humankind are constantly growing and evolving yet we forget the basics so easily. If we keep ourselves informed we can make active choices, if we rigidly stay within one idea and allow no other idea validity we are lost. The accumulated five or six thousand years of written history represents about two percent of human existence, we must continue to search for truth, we must create a peaceful life, we must find the true source of our desire. I think the only question we should actively pursue is who am I.

I believe we will find that love is the answer.

Nigel of tunnelmental.

coming out of the tunnel, mental….

I wrote this near the beginning of June and forgot to publish it, oops.

me and big mic

This morning I had to accept something in myself that I have struggled with for many years. I am different. I was listening to some songs that Derek and I had just finished remixing for the brilliant Sleaford Mods and the new band called Steroid, that’s when it hit me pretty hard, I am different. I am alone and I am different. I have worked all my life on oh so many things yet all the time I really wanted to just be me. To stop playing a game, to stop trying to fit someone’s idea of who I am and to be truly me. I really felt it this morning, I had a real breakthrough, I think it was whilst being lost in music and feeling not properly awake, I just had a shiver down my spine and a weird feeling of both unity with humanity and separation from anything directly around me. Instead of automatically rejecting that feeling I just let it wash over me. The feeling has now subsided to manageable electricity coursing through me and I am attempting to explain it quickly, for I do not know how long this may last. I do know it was real to me.  I am not odd, I am at odds with many things but I am essentially just different. I am not just talking about each of our individual differences, I have acknowledged that all my life. I am feeling different from anything I previously felt.

I am certain that, as I emerge from the old darkness that acted as a warm blanket, that the warmth of the sun will propel me into new and exciting territory. I do know that I am writing this to myself, I also know it really means nothing to anyone who reads it. I am probably confused and “shooting from the lip” but honestly I really don’t care what anyone thinks about me anymore. I have stopped asking permission to be me. I am different. Hello world, its me, let’s get to really know each other.

It is a few days since I wrote the first part of this ramble and I feel no need to edit it. I am very sleepy but wide awake. I have many challenges ahead of me as I view the society that surrounds me. I will meet those challenges with kindness and compassion because those are the things I see missing in society.

Falling Up.

It is important to understand why I Nigel, am so grateful for the release of tunnelmental’s new single “falling up”. It is a celebration on many levels for me, I am celebrating the friends I am fortunate to work with, for they are special to me. I am celebrating the love of life by living it, fully. I have what some would call a charmed life, I do what I love and love what I do. This particular song is a real love song, I know that there have been many love songs written through the ages but I have struggled to write one, up until now. I have had some issues defining what love really is and what it means to me, again up until now. Please listen to “falling up” and try to let go of all the trouble and strife.


me n funk ewerks1

Nigel of tunnelmental and funkcutter of anarchistwood from a couple years ago.


falling up full title bandcamp art

The artwork for the single.

A link to hear it. https://tunnelmental.bandcamp.com/track/falling-up-featuring-funkcutter-of-anarchistwood

Release date July 27th 2018.

“shooting from the lip” and why…



The album “shooting from the lip” just kept coming; track after track flowing out of us, we just let it happen. Derek and I had just finished and released the album “waiting here for you” we never really stopped to think about what’s next, we just kept writing and recording. We didn’t say anything about it to each other, every day we would just go into our studio.

Derek would be working away, playing piano, manipulating some synth sounds, scratching a rhythm from some vinyl or tweaking a drum sound and before we knew it we were laying down vocals, mixing and mastering as we go. I let my pen flow across the page, whatever came out I offered up. It clicked into place and we went on to the next one.

It was a truly strange experience for me, like letting our energy be focused on nothing, no control, no boundaries or limitations, no deadlines, just flows.

Energy is everywhere, the creative force is infinite and magical, and our studio became a portal to creativity. I believe we just allowed it to pass through us.

It was “shooting from the lip”!

Nigel of tunnelmental.

Shooting From The Lip was an exercise in holding on and enjoying the ride. With each new track, I was amazed at how the ideas and rhythms just flowed. Nigel and I never set out to create music in one specific sub genre but to write songs with a common theme and I think we achieved that in Nigel’s lyrics. From the dramatic “The Strangers Voice” to the playful “Can I Be Mankind” this album is truly a slice of life experience. In writing Shooting From The Lip, we had no idea what kind of mood or groove the next track would have but rather searched for a unique sound and built off of that, wherever it led us.

Derek of tunnelmental.


Write up by http://www.theinfidelnetwerk.com

Never stopping their pursuit of crafting fine tunes, always delivering in the most epic presentations with an extremely crisp and refined sound, @Tunnelmental tunnelmental experimental assembly have for you another full length release filled with dancefloor melodies, downtempo grooves, and pop sensibilities. Fusing their completely unique mixture of EDM, Pop, Trip-Hop, and Electronica, these adventurous Californian duo have struck gold again. Every track on the album manages to stand out on it own, fusing different elements of your favorite electronic dance genres into unique mixture filled with the perfect dosage of predictable melody and sonic experimentation. You’ll find yourself humming along to the catchy synth lines, or tapping your foot to the funky beat. You’ll never find yourself bored.

Download the album on their official Bandcamp:

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Head over to YouTube to check out their music videos and songs:

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The Strangers Voice

“The Strangers Voice” was released as a single on 23rd of March 2018.




The Music Film for “the strangers voice” some background information…

I wrote a synopsis for a music film that features an innocent man in prison who is about to be executed. The priest comes in and he is taken to the execution chamber. I was going to feature another man tormented by the knowledge of the innocent man being executed for the crime he did not commit. I was toying with lots of ways to shoot and edit this film myself. At the same time I was looking for inspiration from old films. I was looking around for film that is in the public domain and free to use. It was whilst looking through some old movies on The Library of Congress site here https://archive.org/details/moviesandfilms that I stumbled upon this film, Directed by Fritz Lang starring Edward G Robinson called Scarlet Street. I happened to click on the movie near the end and started to watch, I was so amazed and surprised by how it fit perfectly. I double checked that it was free to use.

I am no “purist” I love being creative and manipulating imagery, I can edit and mess with images all day long. I could make the images from the movie fit more easily and slickly to the rhythm and beat of the song, I could add colour washes and effects to make it glitchy and modern but instead I left it almost entirely unedited (I made one small edit, so it was the correct length for the song.)

Why did I choose not to manipulate the film? I wanted to emphasize something important to me. I have often wondered if there is such a thing as synchronistic coincidence, as I seem to see it all around me? Sometimes I hear or read something about deja vu or have what I call intuitive perception, a moment in time when all that is supposedly real around you seems to stop or disappear and your mind gets total clarity. It happens rarely for me but it does happen and it happened when I found this film. So that is why I wanted to keep it as pure and real (to me) as the song Derek and I wrote and produced. The strangers voice is one of those songs that “comes to you” and through “synchronistic coincidence” or some telepathic means, Derek and I created a song, I really love.

scarlet street public domain

Here is “The Strangers Voice” music film.

Link to tunnelmental channel on You Tube. The Strangers Voice – music film



The range of my emotions blur

I make no sense at all

I hurt myself to help you

I’m heading for a fall

You say you want my truth again

You wanted me to try

The thought police protected you

So you could live that lie

There’s no escape you tell me

You’re standing loud and proud

Committed to the party line

You’re playing to the crowd

I thought you would betray me

Yet love can make you blind

I could not stop that nagging doubt

From running through my mind

I’m not your Big Brother

I’m not your saving grace

I see you as the stranger

A voice without a face

You’re lost within this matrix

The dreams are all too real

The voice is loud within me

It tells me how to feel

It tells me what to feel

Now the trial is over

Now the trial is over

I can feel the rising pain

I lost my sight, this can’t be right

Are you still inside my brain

Lost and found, sense and sound.

Lost and found, Lost and found,

Lost and found, Sense and Sound.


The reasonable reaction?

me 2 laptops and a boomboxsky

Logic, is it robotic and devoid of emotion? Not when defined by me, for how can I be entirely logical and human? I kinda liked the way Star Trek simply portrayed it through the characters of Mr Spock and later with Data. It was a way of defining our human complexity and it’s faults without being too critical. It was always our emotions that failed us, yet they also defined us. If I carry on with this simple logical assessment of my current “feeling” I will undoubtably come to the “but thats illogical Captain” conclusion. Feelings are simply intuitive to most humans, we are emotional after all. How we are training or teaching ourselves to deal with those feelings is probably one of the most important lessons we can ever learn. It also takes the constant renewal of that lesson, for the more we learn, the more we put that experience into our arsenal of how we deal with our “feelings” it all seems quite logical, doesn’t it?

Why I am questioning myself, today!

Because I am feeling emotional!

Is what I seek just out of my grasp? Probably, is the best answer I can come up with. To reach a better answer, I will try and stay personal with you. Okay, I seek peace and love, two clearly obscure goals, who are almost entirely undefinable and totally subjective. So, the logical thing is to stop seeking the unattainable, right? Nope and I will continue my quest until I die. Why? Is it because I am driven to it by the sad representation of its opposites all around me? Probably, is again the best answer I can come up with. Is it a reasonable reaction? Again, probably, yet I see so many people falter at this and simply give up trying, which makes me sad. Oops, I said I would keep it personal to me, sorry. I do not try too hard to define my personal goals of love and peace, this helps me cope, most of the time. My “feelings” help me more than my logic on this. I have found it is easy for me to accept that life is suffering, it is not so easy to lessen my own suffering by conflict or denial. I have seen way too many people close to me who are in conflict with life and in denial of their own situation in life. So, I willingly accept my own suffering and move forward with my life, I do not celebrate in that suffering, I do not seek sympathy for my suffering, I do not martyr myself to it either, I just acknowledge it and accept it. So, is it possible to find love and peace? Yes, for brief moments in time. Is it possible to maintain them constantly? No, it is not, for they defy any clear definition. Should I stop trying? No, is my answer, for if I were to accept that they are out of reach and obscure ideals, I would stop suffering. Therefore, it stands to reason, if I stop suffering, I stop living. The reasonable reaction to what I have witnessed so far in my life? Continue to seek love and peace, for they are moments of bliss.

Well, I am glad I got that “off my chest” I would like it if someone would comment on my rants occasionally, it helps me re-focus. Nigel.