As a man conditioned by his life and the ugly culture I grew up in, I could sense, somewhere deep inside that we are all connected, that connectivity idea took me all over this abundant planet, in search of what was born within me and soon lost by the conditioning I was told to believe. I am only now in a very small way becoming aware that what I was searching for was an answer and that answer is love.
Action versus reaction still sometimes catches me out. I often try and “zoom out” and re-focus my attention to get perspective. I have found it helps me, yet I am never truly outside of myself. I have made many mistakes and some lead to greater knowledge of myself, some lead to me unintentionally hurting myself and others, I am truly sorry for hurting anyone with my words, actions and deeds. I have always tried to be an “open book” but that is a poor metaphor because that open book is still being written. I know I will make mistakes, for I will always have a sense of doubt and I will give everyone the benefit of that doubt.
I am trying to live a peaceful and simple life and I am starting to really understand my mode of existence. Trying as best I can to expand upon the ideas that make me who I am.
Theory and practice are very relevant to my progress. I am trying to avoid contradictions within and without myself here. The example of Christian and as far as I can tell, all religious theory and practice is a good example of that. I am trying to practice what I preach.
We as humankind are constantly growing and evolving yet we forget the basics so easily. If we keep ourselves informed we can make active choices, if we rigidly stay within one idea and allow no other idea validity we are lost. The accumulated five or six thousand years of written history represents about two percent of human existence, we must continue to search for truth, we must create a peaceful life, we must find the true source of our desire. I think the only question we should actively pursue is who am I.
I believe we will find that love is the answer.
Nigel of tunnelmental.