Create beauty to progress…


We all know it’s wrong, yet we stumble along, I will sing you a song, of the careless…

When we as human beings create a thing of beauty, it is a way forward, a flickering glimmer of light.

I believe we can overcome the darkness of destruction by creating “moments of bliss” for ourselves and share them with the rest of humanity.

Compassion and kindness, that is the way forward. All else is just control system bullshit.

I love what we human beings are capable of, as Mankind we can become brilliant, as Mancruel not so much.

To that end, I Nigel and my music partner Derek aka “tunnelmental” are putting the finishing touches on an album that we shall release in early 2017 “waiting here for you”

Eight songs that we lovingly wrote, recorded and produced in our studio “Orange Groove Studio” We loved creating it and want you to hear it.

trailers for “waiting here for you”



what is, is.


Some masks are used to scare or intimidate, others to hide behind; many masks are worn for survival in today’s society.

We are all capable of masking our true potential in a society hell bent on controlling everything we are capable of. It’s almost impossible to find any “truth” in the media and politics. Currently on social media, it seems more like “make a statement, form an opinion and start a fight media” the search for truth is being abandoned.

I do not hide the fact that I mostly use social media to promote my music and art in the hope that it will support the humble and creative life I choose to live. No hidden agenda in that. If I post other stuff it is as entertainment and commentary, hopefully with some humour and information. I like to try and help others and I believe in kindness, so it goes without saying, that I try to be kind when publicly posting anything.

So, back to the point I was trying to make. A good friend and I were talking recently and it got a bit heated, opinions were flying back and forth, it was fun for a little while, then I suddenly realized, she was getting very angry and agitated, I slowly saw a mask appear (not physical) across her face, her words became stilted and her voice a bit shrill, I stopped talking and listened as she worked herself up into a frenzy. I tried calmly to say “let’s stop talking”, to which she got offended and said the phrase my children use when challenged, “you started it” I had to smile and that made things worse. As I left my friends house I thought about how I may have annoyed her and recapped our conversation trying to find what triggered that anger in her, it was not easy, as we had tackled many subjects and touched on many issues during our debate. I tried to distance myself and observe in retrospection the conversation; then it struck me clear as a bell. I can now see that I came across to her as arrogant and righteous. I know I am opinionated but I do try and keep open minded. That “jump to judgment” moment when she got angry and her mask appeared was clearly when I said, “either we are all god or there is no god” which is a contentious and non-provable hypothesis I still stand by; purely as an opinion!

I will continue to have an opinion on all things, I will try to curb my way of presenting my opinion, I will try and ensure that when I get into a debate that whoever I am debating with understand that it’s just my opinion.

So in conclusion, my mask is on, I will try and make it one of humility and consideration; one of kindness and growth, then hopefully it will become the mask of a peaceful warrior. My mask is not worn to hide my true intentions; it is there so I can see more clearly.

Oh, by the way, I apologized to my friend after a couple of days and they laughed, she said it was all just nonsense and I should not be so dramatic….I did not rise to her bait on this and just acknowledged what is!


I like this graph it helps me…


Now some shameless, self promotion and a gift for listening to my “opinion”



In Conversation with myself. (shallow thoughts)


I will put some of these meanderings on my blog for all to see as I try to find the better me. I know he’s in here somewhere; so much clutter, what a nutter!

I am not looking for an end of suffering, for that is not my business. I am looking for an end to making others suffer. We need a ceasefire in the need for some people using their suffering as a reason to make others suffer. The very idea that we are all suffering, to one degree or another, is obvious to me. To insist that you should feel “my pain”, so you can understand what I am going through is both selfish and destructive.

I do understand how Empathy and Sympathy differ from one another and this simple picture below is to show how I get there, sometimes. Do not confuse what I am writing about as lack of compassion, it is only through compassion and kindness that we can grow.


I know I can use most of my senses well enough to see, hear, feel, etc. So when someone close to me needs help, I usually, when I am able, just offer or just step up and start helping them. I have pretty much, always thought that we all did that, or at least tried to do that. Certain experiences have recently showed me quite clearly how that is not so. Whether this is a shift in society or just a recent revelation to me, is difficult to gauge, maybe a bit of both. I am not going to just sit here and point a finger at society, for after all is said and done, society is really just the collective us.

Oops, I am wandering with my thoughts again, try and stick to the point Nigel, if indeed there is one! Now, where was I? Oh yes, here. I know, I will try and break down my first paragraph; and by the way, if you have made it this far dear reader, well done and thank you for listening. Right, the task in hand, that first paragraph.

Firstly, it assumes that all life is suffering, if you do not agree with that part, wait a few days, more or less, then recognize something in your life you are struggling with. That is your “suffering” for now, you own it, its real and it all yours. You might need a friend to help you understand it, or you might project your suffering into someone else, the latter of these two solutions is what I am primarily documenting here.

If you made it this far “dear reader” then I encourage you to continue to the end, it should not take long, I have to deal with more pressing issues, like directly dealing with my own suffering and helping alleviate a friends suffering at the same time.

So, read once more, the first paragraph please. I just did, it’s a bit of an arrogant assumption but I am experiencing my observation. I could re-write the first paragraph in the form of a question, if I thought I could find an answer but alas, I do not believe there is one. As usual, I am making a statement, an observation, based on my experience, from my point of perspective. The search for truth is littered with unanswered questions and I am ready to accept that. There are so many questions. I should try and focus my attention on a few of the most important ones.

Here is the start of my list:-

Who am I?

How can I grow into a better human being?

How can I help others?

WOW, these are difficult and I am suffering! Boom, there it is, that first paragraph again. Feck it, I am going round in circles. Ooh, hold on wait a minute, this is fun…..WEEEEEEE!